This is always the hardest time of year for me. I always have to hide away on the fourth of January every year. The reasons why are pretty personal but writing seems to help me out of the ruts so this is why I’m putting it out there. As I’ve always posted I have three wonderful kids which isn’t actually true. I actually have four. Gregory Michael Scott was born January 4th, 2004 at around seven thirty in the evening. (Give or take an hour or so, I can’t remember.) He passed away forty-five minutes later. It was the most gut-wrenching experience  of my life. To have a child ripped from you like that… all I can say is a parent should never have to bury a child. My ex-wife, Tammy, just barely survived. They told us a human body holds about four two-liter bottles of blood. She lost about three. She spent four days in the hospital but she never truly recovered. The ordeal changed her. Her personality did a 180 and was partially the reason we ended up getting a divorce less than a year later. Don’t let anyone ever tell you different that a mother losing a baby doesn’t change because they do. The woman I knew before Gregory died is gone  and the one that replaced her is someone I don’t know.

If he had lived he would have turned nine this year. Probably be in the fourth grade and a big pain in the butt like a normal kid. Hopefully he would’ve been like Alan and love sports. It would have been great to be able to take both of them to a baseball game. Speaking of Alan, I always felt that he was cheated out of a brother. I have two and I’m glad I do. Tammy eventually had another son, so I’m glad that Alan does have a younger brother but  to me it’s still not the same.

So to Gregory, I want to say, Happy Birthday. I miss you so much and I love you more than I can ever say.




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